Fear And Kundalini In Chicago

(A two part blog.  The sequel will be Love And Kundalini In Chicago.)

Watch This Short Video!

That’s me doing an ankle drop in aerial silks. (Silks are my hobby.) Falling backwards is scary to me, as it is for lots of folks.  My brilliant silks teacher, at Aloftloft in Chicago, Zoe Sheppard, finished off our year in 2014 with a bunch of scary drops.  We got out the big red mat, and I think I did all of them.  With lots of encouragement from my classmates, and patience from Zoe. Thanks, Zoe.

No really, thanks, Zoe!

Thanks, because it deepened my contemplation about fear and things that hold me back in life, and then resulted in me deciding my theme for 2015 is fearlessness. Not exactly a resolution, nor a goal, more of an intention, as we refer to it in the yoga world.

In yoga we talk about setting an intention, an intention is not oriented towards achieving a specific outcome.  For example, “today I will balance in handstand” = goal.  Intention is more about a path one is taking.  Setting an intention is based on what matters to you, and then aligning actions and attitudes.  How you want to “be” in the present moment.  And what are you opening to in your life.  “Today I will explore fearlessness in handstand.”


Actually, I was even considering this as my year theme before Brilliant Zoe’s class. Isn’t it wonderfully mystically curious how these things happen? I decided I need more fearlessness, and the opportunity manifests. The ankle drop challenge solidified and brought clarification.

Honestly, I am not sure how I am doing with this intention.  I may have waylaid it in the dregs of our endless Chicago winter.


But I have reconnected with it again lately. Which brings me to my next topic,



I recently took a wonderful class about kundalini energy meditation at InVision School for Psychic Abilities.  (Promise to write more about this fabulous place soon.)  I believe it is the exploration of the Kundalini energy which reawakened my theme of fearlessness. Things have began to move for me again.


In fact it is the class that birthed this blog site.

It went like this.  One morning, about two weeks into the six week class, I woke up and created verdant faerie, very literally.  At 5:00 a.m.   I hadn’t even conceived of this site yet.  Feeling stuck in my life and wanting to move forward with various things or just something/ANYTHING… I needed a jump… Quite suddenly this blog site manifested. AND got me moving forward on some other projects that have been lying dormant.

What is it anyway, this kundalini?  From my novice understanding of kundalini (Sanskrit word) I’ll describe it is is an individual’s personal source of energy located at the base of the spine.  It is near to and related to the first chakra.



Kundalini energy lies in all of us, dormant, for the most part. It is coiled there, at the base of the spine, waiting to climb up the energy channels along the spine or through the chakras. Kundalini also has its own specific paths through the body.  It is often depicted as a coiled snake with three coils. Its symbolic image is found in various places throughout the world and in history.


Kundalini energy is very powerful and is, in fact, sometimes feared.   True, kundalini should be explored with care.  There’s plenty of talk and info out there about negative effects of the rising of the Kundalini energy.  Some even claim it is the devil’s work.

While I do NOT believe it is the devil’s domain, I do think that it should be explored with respect and awareness.  Even when explored by a skillful mystic, the body’s adjustment to the Kundalini energy can possibly be a bit rough.  With reports of body shakes and high fever or disorientation.

In aerial arts there is plenty of talk about fearing heights or fearing certain drops.  (Part of the thrill, after all).  What I have come to realize is that respecting the danger of the drop is required, but the fear is really not helpful, at all.  In silks, to honor my intention, I am trying not to shriek in terror every time Zoe demos for us an exciting drop.  Rather, respect the power of it and pay attention, yes, but try to calm the fear which clouds the brain and makes the body do weird unhelpful things (flail and bite the fabric).  And then explore and experience.  (Not shriek.)

I find it is the same for exploring kundalini energy meditation.

Kundalini is offered once a year at InVision.  It is offered for folks with previous experience in meditation.   During our six week class our fantastic teacher and guide, Christopher Rhodes built upon the depth of exploration.  Always checking in and making sure we felt safe.  Some of us did have physical reactions.  Some adjusted pretty easily.  But feeling safe, calm, and open was key.

Although, here’s something that’s a little difficult to explain. Sometimes these physical reactions are a part of the kundalini energy ‘magic’ as it clears out blocks and restrictions.

How do you get it?  This kundalini.

There are many ancient traditions involving very specific breath and meditation techniques.  Often the chanting of mantra is employed.  While you just have to take a class at InVision (or elsewhere), to learn it for yourself, I will say that at InVision we did not use chanting or complex breathing.  We were led in meditation, InVision style, to get grounded.  We breathed deep and learned various ways to explore and move the kundalini.


Kundalini energy moves upward.  When it rises it brings movement, vitality, healing .  For me, it did several things.  Notably it burned through fears and lessened resistance to moving forward.  It allowed me to acknowledge dreams I have, things I have been suppressing.  To speak them aloud.